The Slappee

I probably will once I remember what its all about .. and after I have spent it

but .. whatever trevor.

I .. did not just say ‘whatever trevor”

It didnt happen .. you are imagining things …again

Freak.

I love the comedy festival and not being poor whilst the comedy festival is on.

So good.

I’m going out for dinner with Nikki tonight, and we are going to 4 shows. Count them .. 4.

If you only had three fingers on each hand you would need two hands to count how many shows we are going to.

Assuming you need fingers to count, which you do.. because in that tragic finger dismembering accident of yesteryear, something sharp enough to dislodge your fingers from their sockets pierced your brainmeats, disabling your ‘counting without the use of your own fingers’* portion of your mind. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell you. But .. no one else really .. enjoys talking to you. Again .. sorry.

Your parents have been informed, they’ll be here within the hour

So maybe stop looking at tentacle porn. I mean .. you have to stop sometime .. might as well be when your mother is in the room.

Just a thought.

And one of these four shows is courtesy of the fucking amazing DeAnne Smith. She emailed me and was all .. yo Alex, youre like super nice, you have free tickets to my show. (I may have changed the words, but I’m serious .. I didn’t win anything or threaten to kill her unborn children .. she just thought I was nice and gave me tickets… can I get a hellz yeah?!) HELLZ YEAH!

Then tomorrow night I’m going out for dinner with Liz and Dan and we’re going to see David O’Doherty .. or should I say O’DOH-PARTY?!

Then on friday I’m going to see Best Of The British with Liz.

Last week I saw Josh Thomas and Melinda Buttle with Jake.

Which, may I add, was fucking awesome. Yes, Alex. You may, seeing as this is your tumblr and you are the one writing it .. and probably the only one reading it.

Except for maybe Jasonalex .. but .. he’s a bit weird .. whatever, it’s not a big deal

HI JASON!

I also won tickets to some Josh Thomas thing a couple of weeks ago .. and Maeve Higgins .. which was .. awkward … hilariously awkward.

I guess my point is.. I’m awesome.

The End.

*Yes, that is the scientific term.