March 2012
a haiku about making pasta
la-peque:
god fucking dammit does it really take that long for water to boil
A list of things that do not offend people
yiffmyass:
nyeeeeaaaah:
• • • • •
why are all the dots black you fucking racist
softpork:
yeah the 90’s were so great
i loved having to get off the internet because my parents needed to use the phone
If I knew that a teacher was going to call my house I’d come home early and turn the internet on so they couldn’t get through
1 tag
She ditched me four times in one week.
I think we have a new record.
The Best Birth Control in the World is for Men. →
stfuconservatives:
bulletinaweave:
julierthanyou:
anniehinton:
The procedure called RISUG in India (reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance) takes about 15 minutes with a doctor, is effective after about three days, and lasts for 10 or more years. A doctor applies some local anesthetic, makes a small pinhole in the base of the scrotum, reaches in with a pair of very thin forceps,...
Watchjesussavesispendd:
gingergnome:
queerlittlebastard:
omg their accents. I would probably piss myself not gonna lie
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!
wattt
“I rewrote the ending to Farewell to Arms, the last page of it, thirty-nine times before I was satisfied.” —Hemingway (The Paris Review)
Melanie: Alex, what's that band called?
Me: What band?
Melenie: That one that you like!
Me: I'm going to need more than that..
Melenie: It's like .. something something .. then another something .. and the other something is with a 'P'.. or something. I'm not sure if there's a P
“I remember hearing that the spirit was always next to you, so I would always...”
– Michael Fassbender
Me: I'm a lesbian
Everyone: Omg how do two girls have sex?! Is it good? How do you lose your virginity? Is that even sex? How many girls have you slept with? Are you sure it's not just a stage? Have you ever TRIED having sex with a guy? How do you know that you don't like it? Do you want to be a boy? Are you sure? You don't look like a lesbian. Who's the guy in the relationship? You're going to Hell. God doesn't like gay people.
1 tag
“I think that it’s important to like stuff, cause we spend a lot of time thinking...”
– Hank Green
Cosmo sex tip #301:
thunderturd:
Don’t be scared of doing something a bit more flexible. While you’re on top turn your head 360 degrees whilst screaming ‘the anti-christ has awoken’.
As if this was over two years ago. →
justsupergood:
What the actual fuck
Kinky Jason, I started high school 10 years ago.
Ten. Years.
Also.. I noticed the other day that you don’t look 12 in your photos anymore ..
I dropped my phone for the last time
As if this was over two years ago. →
So, uhm.. yep.
1 tag
Repressed feelings are great until you realise they are repressed and not actually gone like you assumed.
5 tags
5 tags
"You talk shits!"
.. someone called paulchee submitted this to me
thanks paulchee!
1 tag
If photographs of you are as close as I can get then that’s as close as I’ll get
If the edge of the land, is as close as I can get, then that’s as close as I’ll get
If right up beside you is as close as I can get, then that’s as close as I’ll get
I have and always will be, as close as I can get.
1 tag
This morning I was going to make a post that went something like “sober Alex is going to hate me when she wakes up”
but I didn’t get a chance, because drunk Alex hated herself enough for the both of us.
She fucked everything up.
everything.
sober Alex woke up literally fearing for her life.
