How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year.
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here..
ask me questions, you fuckers.
Would I rather be stranded on a desert island with someone I love for ten years or someone I hate for a month? Explain why.
Someone I hate for a month. I could grow to like them, or at least tolerate them just via common experience, but if I was stuck with one person for ten years, no matter how much I loved them in the beginning I would hate them by the end .. in fact I’d probably kill them and eat them to survive, and justify it by thinking that “it’s what they would have wanted, we were in love”
Hahaha aww, the amount of giggleface I had was astonishing
oh Blerg, I was feeling better and then I saw this and I hate everything again.
Feelings are stupid and should just go away because I am starting to annoying even myself now.
I had a world where all you needed was that perfect song on that perfect drive to feel infinite.
I’m hysterical, I’m having hysterics. When I get like this, I can’t stop.
..I’M WET! I’M WET!
..I’M IN PAIN! I’M IN PAIN!
And I’m wet and I’m still hysterical!
I need to find someone to talk to who isn’t in the middle of all the shit my life has turned into.
I can’t talk to the person who usually makes life worth living because they called me at 2am on my birthday to inform me that we could no know each other, because I am ruining their life simply by existing and that we can’t be friends until I turn into a growed-up.
So I guess we’re never seeing each other again, which is just super.
The other day a perfect stranger told me I should seek out a good psychologist, emphasis on good.
I hate everything, I can’t sleep, I have to get up early to clean the car, I don’t want to exist, let alone clean, God kill me know, they made me promise I “wouldn’t do anything silly” but then again they promised they weren’t going anywhere and that I would have the best birthday ever, so I guess we don’t take promises seriously these days, no jkjkjklololol, I’m not going to kill myself over this, that would be too emo, even for me. I’m just going to live blog my decent into self absorbed pathetic madness until I forget what feelings are.
I wish I could just switch off.
I’m in the kitchen, I start crying.
I’m drying my hair, I start crying.
I’m driving with my brother, I start crying.
I’m on the bus, I start crying.
I’m watching friends, I start crying.
I try to sleep, I start crying.
I wake up, I start crying.
I think about how nice the night is, I start crying.
I think about how to get rid of the bugs, I start crying.
My phone goes off, I start crying.
I’m alone for more than ten seconds, I start crying.
I think about how annoying I am with all this crying business, I start crying.