fmylife: Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
420, then sleep very soon.
queendoc: I gotta work in the afternoon then I’m going to a Burlesque show and a Midnight Rocky Horror showing, which should be hella fun. Can’t wait! I am quite jealous right now, just so ya know.
mliaverage: Today, I crawled into my mom’s room on all fours to steal some Halloween candy. She woke up, confused. I, thinking quickly, said, “It’s alright.. I’m just the cat.” She believed me, and went back to bed. I meowed, and left purring. With my candy. MLIA.
I’m paranoid that the illuminati are gonna watch me wank.– jakehh
mliaverage: Today I texted my friend asking “WHEN I TYPE LIKE THIS DOES THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD YELL?” She said yes. MLIA
mliaverage: Today, I received a resume from a 14-year-old kid wanting a job, since I manage a cafe. in the personal details he wrote stuff like his name, but next to Sex he wrote: no thanks (my innocence!). He has an interveiw this week. MLIA
mliaverage: Yesterday at school a guy asked me out and I turned him down saying I would only go out with Darth Vader. I was about to say I was joking but he turned and walked away with out a word. Today as I left my first period classroom there was the guy in full Darth Vader costume and two light sabers. He handed one to me saying in a deep voice ‘Will you go out with me?’ Actually, I think...
@jasonxcore: @jakehh: Everyone is really ugly in this restaurant. This makes me feel both attractive and superior. doesnt happen often does it? hahahahhahahahah
Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Jakehh and Jamie. Wow I didnt even mean to write the ‘hh’ there. Have you kissed anyone in ‘09 that actually meant something? nope =D What is the last lie you told your parents? I dont know, probably sometihng stupid like, “yes I went to bed 10 minutes after you did” Didn’t have a bedtime when I was ten,...
Insert "read more" break?! OO:
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-10-25) →
Jeffree Star (23) Lisa Mitchell (15) Amanda Palmer (14) Regina Spektor (11) The Wombats (11) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
I've always been amused by this, but never have I...
Jack: Hey, you know what sucks?
Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
Lindsey: black holes
Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
Reblog with what your ipod name is.
jesuschrist-: thisorigamidream: saethis: soulesskid: I have had Soulkeeper, Serendipity and now Existentialism. My Iphone is Harry Potter Catt’s Vagina Lieutenant Shiny Sides Bonquimis FailPod
mliaverage: Today, I realized my initials are TIM. My first name is Tim. When I told my parents this, my dad got out of his chair and applauded me. My mother than handed him a 100 dollar bill. They had made a bet to see if I could realize my name and initials were the same. MLIA
mliaverage: Today, while driving with my dad, “Party In The USA” by Miley Cyrus came on. I was about to change it when he told me not to, I asked him why and he answered, “I’m feeling a little skanky today.” I love my dad. MLIA
mliaverage: Today, my little sister found out the tooth fairy wasn’t real by putting a mouse trap under one of her pillows. I’m so proud. My dad, however, seems very upset. MLIA
Is it enough to have some love small enough to fit inside the cracks the...– Amanda Palmer<3 (via dinabobina) (via fuckyeahamandapalmer)
mliaverage: Today, on Facebook, I accidentally pressed a key combination on my new laptop and all of a sudden started typing in Chinese. I then proceeded to have a fifteen minute chat conversation with my Cantonese friend, not knowing what I was saying at all. Once I restarted my computer, she informed me that most of what I was saying was gibberish, but I did manage to say that I enjoy fried...
mliaverage: Today, my daughter and I were in the car, listening to the radio. She turns to me and says, “Why does everyone sing about love? Why don’t they make songs about normal things, like cheese and sandwiches?” I don’t know, dear. MLIA
I can't even think of a nice title for this...
the answers are equally creative. Whats your current mood? shakey, I feel as tohugh I will never want caffeine again. Dont worry, it will pass Is your clean room? is my clean room what? Painted turquoise? Filled with famigoes? On the moon? The answer is no. Finger nails painted? Not mine, but some peoples are What’s your relationship status? single What happened at school today? Well .....
I have no idea if this is funny or if I am just...
Jay: That's a very unhappy triangle you made there, Anthony
Anthony: BUT, I DIDN'T MAKE A TRIANGLE!! D=
mliaverage: Today, I was craving some mint chocolate chip ice cream. We only had chocolate ice cream, so I decided to brush my teeth first and then eat chocolate ice cream to see if it’s an acceptable replacement. It is. MLIA
mliaverage: Today, I was reading my newspaper and I came across an ad for a weight loss solution. On the before picture, it showed a fat white man. On the after picture, it showed a skinny black woman. I think this product isn’t to be trusted. MLIA.
The One That You Should Have Put A Ring On. I...
mliaverage: Today, I saw a sign that said “breathing metropolitan air can reduce your life by 2-3 years”. I would imagine that not breathing would reduce it considerably more. MLIA
bold what's true.
sisterspock:tenementsquare:lauralauralarfs:monicaftw:dyllically:popsiclesftw: staytogetherfornaomi: lovelikeblink: colorful-language: allieck: yzabellopez: bankforbrokentempers: stfudevin: sorelativelyfucked: cantshakeemylee I’ve never watched Twilight I have drunk alcohol I have tried smoking I read a lot I’ve been in a car crash I’ve thought someone was in my house at night I would change over 5...
I asked you to go to the Green Day concert. You...
jesuschrist-: (via captainkirk) This reminds me of something that happened to me while in line. This guy came up to us with his four kids, and asked us who was playing. We told him and he turned to his kids and said, “Do you guys want to see this Green Day?”, so they bought tickets and went. Couple of the kids asked who they were, like seriously? -Alicia face- So I went to your room and read...
Use your flippers to get down
People say you learn something new everyday, what did you learn today? That if you put your contacts in backwards the world becomes a very trippy place. Has anyone ever tried ruining your relationship? Uhm .. I dont know if they tried, well .. actually .. yes they did. Kudos to you (Y) Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Foh shizzle How are you feeling? Fully sick. And...
2 ah ah ah, 2 hours.
If you could change the last person you kissed with anyone in the world, who would it be? I think I am confused by this question .. not a very good start. Do you have a thing for anyone you hung out with in the last 7 days? the ony person I’ve ‘hung out with’ is andrew .. so .. no. When do you blow out the candles? sometime inbetween them being lit and them being unlit If...
Stop tweeting my posts when I have clearly unticked that unholy little box. I know that it is cool to rebel at your age, I get that. I’m down with the kids these days. It’s just that, it is really fucking annoying.
I went into the kitchen to have breakfast yes I have breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon, what of it? Shut up, I do what I want, bitch. (actually I didn’t even eat anything (surprise!) (yes, that was a bracket within a bracket.. as is this. what of it?) (I like saying what of it. KAY?!) what do I want to eat?) ANYWAY, I went into the kitchen to have breakfast and discovered that...